How To Practice Mindfulness
In the simplest terms, mindfulness can be thought of as “intentionally focusing on the present moment without judgement.” While the idea of mindfulness may seem simple, many clients find putting mindfulness into practice can be a significant challenge. In much of western culture, this can be the opposite of what we are taught – we should not be focused on one thing instead we should be multi-tasking. It is based on the faulty assumption that people are more efficient when they are doing three things at once rather than just one. Consequently, mindfulness can prove to be challenging, since being mindful may be a rather new way of doing things.
Mindfulness – Helpful Concepts
After first leaning about mindfulness and attempting to do exercises or use it in their lives, many clients return to tell me they were not very good at it. In most cases, my clients mean they found it difficult to focus on the present moment as their attention kept wandering off. It is important to know this experience is natural and normal. Mindfulness should be thought of as both focusing on and returning to the present moment. As humans, it is natural and inevitable that our attention will wander. It is important to remember being mindful is not just about staying focused on something. It is about staying focused, noticing when your attention have gone astray, and without judging yourself, returning your attention to whatever is happening in the moment (i.e., the exercise, real life situations, etc.,).
Mark Williams and his colleagues refer to this coming and going of one’s attention as ‘mind waves‘ and like the waves on the beach are natural… so too are the waves of attention in your mind. When one is being mindful, the coming and going of attention is just what the mind naturally does. Therefore, it is at the heart of mindfulness practice, not a failure to correctly practice mindfulness.
You can think of this process as micro radical acceptances… “ah, my attention drifted off, no big deal – it happens, let’s just get refocus on the present moment” or “back to the exercise.”
Mindfulness – The Only Real Goal Is…
It is important to remember that the only goal of mindfulness is to be more aware of the present moment. It is not uncommon for most clients to return and indicate that they cannot get mindfulness to work for them. What they mean by this is that mindfulness did not help them relax or calm down, concentrate better, or sleep better. It is important to remember that mindfulness is not to help you calm down or relax, concentrate better, or get to sleep. While these can be wonderful side-effects of being mindful in daily life, none are the goal or the purpose of being mindful and practicing mindfulness. When clients find themselves frustrated or thinking that ‘this is not working,’ they might remind themselves the only goal and purpose of the exercise and mindfulness in daily life is ‘to be in the present moment more often.‘ When considered mindfulness from this perspective, mindfulness always works as you will find you are in the present moment more often than life on autopilot. Mindfulness is not easy though, if you are being mindful, you’re spending more time living in the present moment than you are when you are living life on autopilot.
Mindfulness – Beginners’ Helpful Tip
When clients begin to practice mindfulness, sometimes they find it helpful to begin with activities that they can enjoy and find easy to hold their focus and attention. When this approach is used, clients find it helps to ease the frustration that can arise when one has a difficult time focusing on the present moment. When clients begin practicing mindfulness, they find that being intentionally mindful in situations where they are more able to stay focused often leads to more successful experiences and provides evidence that they can do it – allowing them to move on to exercises and life situations in which it is more difficult to attend and stay focused.